‘Tell it to me straight, I have to look for another job, don’t I?’: Bossy coworker becomes actual boss, starts with fake encouragement but quickly turns pushy and controlling

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Mar 4, 2025 10:00 AM EST

In every workplace, there's always that one coworker whose ego arrives in the office five minutes before they do. They charm upper management effortlessly, inflate their own accomplishments, and somehow convince everyone they're a misunderstood genius who's just passionate. 

Sure, to those who actually share an office with them, they're clearly a self-absorbed nightmare, but higher-ups often mistake arrogance for ambition and end up handing them promotions instead of employee handbooks on basic human decency.

Once these walking egos get promoted, their charm crumbles faster than cheap wallcovers, revealing a petty tyrant who thrives on micromanaging, belittling, and generally making work miserable for everyone else. 

Suddenly, your job becomes navigating their moods, trying not to roll your eyes audibly when they hold forth on topics they know nothing about, and dodging their constant attempts to make themselves look good at your expense.

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  • "Grandiose narcissist coworker has become my supervisor. Do I have to look for another job?"

    "Grandiose narcissist coworker has become my boss"
    via photosvit

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Now imagine you're the poor soul whose narcissistic colleague just got promoted to supervisor. After three years of putting up with their antics as an equal, watching from a safe distance with sympathetic management nearby, you're now wide open to the full brunt of their egocentric wrath. All previous support systems are gone, replaced by an endless cycle of fake praise followed swiftly by combative micromanagement.

  • Is it time for a quick LinkedIn update and a frantic job search? Probably. 

  • Hi guys, I've made an account specifically for this issue.
    via Amazing-Ebb6953
  • I'm in a pickle. I've been in my job for over 3 years. My coworker, who is a grandiose narcissist, has recently become my supervisor/boss (my worst nightmare).
    via Amazing-Ebb6953
  • He was on a high for a good few weeks - lovebombing, singing my/our team's praises and in happy-clappy form.
    via Amazing-Ebb6953
  • Just 2 days ago, I was wondering 'wow, he's still upbeat, happy and being positive about us. I wonder when/if it'll change soon' I even started to question if I was imagining that he was a narcissist.
    via Amazing-Ebb6953
  • Cheezburger Image 10475262208
    via SHOTPRIME

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • But here we are today, he's become snappy, pushy and a bit of a bu y with myself and my colleague. So the devalue has finally begun but it's the first since he's become my superior.
    via Amazing-Ebb6953
  • Back when we were colleagues, I had a boss and another member who could intervene and protect me against this man when sh hit the fan. Now, both of those
    via Amazing-Ebb6953
  • people are gone and we're completely exposed to this nutjob bu ying us to carry out his will according to his orders....to make him look good.
    via Amazing-Ebb6953
  • Tell it to me straight, I have to look for another job, don't I? Any further advice on how to keep my sanity?
    via Amazing-Ebb6953
  • Throw AwayColor2023 My mental and physical health were wrecked working under someone like this. There's nothing you can say or do that will make him suddenly not be a volatile narcissistic bu y. Look for a new team or new employer. I'm sorry.
    via ThrowAwayColor2023
  • Cheezburger Image 10475261952
    via photosvit

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • dinkdonner Yes.
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  • Flaky-Wallaby5382 Internal transfer before your first review. Otherwise jump ship
    via Flaky-Wallaby5382
  • UltraPromoman When they've become entrenched and ascend to power, it's pretty much a certainty that you have to go. They only get worse and it usually takes a miracle or them doing something exceptionally fed up to get them out of the paint.
    via UltraPromoman
  • MsChrisRI Start looking ASAP. And how well do you trust the colleague that he's also bu ying? You may want to have a careful conversation with them about how to manage your supervisor's
    via MsChrisRI
  • mood shifts. Don't use words like "grandiose narcissist" or excessive criticism, since that could come back to haunt you.
    via MsChrisRI
  • sdg2844 In short, if he is displaying narcissistic tendencies, then you are best off getting out ASAP. You know how this person is, and you know things will get worse, not better!
    via sdg2844
  • Tasty-Ad-1891 It is time to move on. These people don't change. You need to put your mental health first on your priority list.
    via Tasty-Ad-1891
  • iceyone444 Yes start looking. -
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  • Efficient-Work-8109 Lifes too short...go look for another job
    via Efficient-Work-8109
  • tipareth 1978 Just so you know, in the corporate world this is who your boss is 90% of the time
    via tipareth1978
  • preventworkinjury Yes - run for the hills.
    via preventworkinjury
  • Useless890 Look elsewhere. These guys don't change, except to get worse. And they are always right.
    via Useless890

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management boss workplace-stories hr toxic-workplace manager bosses work PTO managers supervisor workplace Horrible Bosses work-life balance
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